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| My first courtship I will never forget. Especially
because I have never experienced the same feeling again. The
butterflies in your stomach. Secretly watching him and when he looks
back, quickly look away. He was two years younger and he was childlike.
I was fifteen years old and sat in the third class of the lower
general secondary education. He sat in the first class. Because I had
homework assistance everyone regardless of age or what class you were,
sat in one classroom. The bigger the group the more classrooms with
several students there were. You did your lesson and when you had a
written exam or a rehearsel the teacher on duty ask you questions about
the lessons you just learned. Or there was a sort of a trial
rehearsel made which you had to pass succesfully. The homework assistance was till about five o 'clock I believe (it has been so many years ago that I don't know it exactly) but if you finished your homework sooner or if the teacher had asked you about the lessons and you passed succesful or even if you made the (fake) exam well than you could go home sooner. Well, that never happened to me. Because I could not concentrate. If someone was examined or there was talk when the teacher left the classroom (otherwise it wasn't allowed) then I couldn't keep my attention to my lessons. So when I came home I told my aunt that I finished my homework and after dinner I went outside playing or I was hanging out on the street. By the time I had to go back home I went further with my homework. Even if it meant that I was still busy after midnight. Always waiting at the very last moment and then I could hit myself in the head why I always waited at the very last moment. For example when I had to read these books and had to made a report of it. So I read the book 'life in one day' from the writer A.F.Th. van der Heijden back then in my time of the lower general secondary education. I found it then a good but confusing book and in the year 2009 it was finally filmed. Sometimes you read a book and you think:"I wish they made a movie from it." But I digress as I always do. The boy I fell in love with, his name was Peter. Sometimes he followed me home after homework assistance. I biked home and a few meters behind he drove along (sometimes with a friend) a big part of the way. It was endearing. The both of us we didn't dare to take the first step. I can't say for sure yet who ultimately took the first step. Mostly we did it via our friends. I told it to my best friend and eventually it got to him. We started to write each other letters. Untill someone at the homework assistance got such a letter in hand. Taken away! I never could have read what he wrote me then. What a shame I felt. Everyone knew then. I cannot say that we had courtship. Maybe secretly and very short. From my aunt I wasn't allowed to date so I had to do it secretly. So one time I went with him to his residence and we went to a sort of a construction site. We talked because the both of us didn't dare to take the step to kiss each other. On another day we went swimming together and because I was afraid to go alone I had taken a friend with me. He bought many lollipops for me because by so many lollipops you got a watch. Anyway...I got that watch then. A little by force by my friend that kiss eventually came. Later I thought that I should have left my friend at home. There is really not much more that happened. This all occured in about two months time when I checked my school calender. He played tag on the school playground what I earlier meant by he was childlike and I had to much homework. In my opinion I ended it then. Or maybe we did it in consultation together. I do not remember it exactly but I wasn't ready for it. But I have never forgotten it. |
| That I kept his letter that says it all. |
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